Getting old vs. Growing old

Time marches forward and she is an indomitable force that does not care or pays attention to anything you are.

Age. Job. Marital status. Gender. Education.

Nope. She don’t GAF.

She’s taking all of us along for the ride.

And as time moves forward…

I have to catch (and actively refrain) from complaining that I’m getting old.

The silver hairs that are popping up everywhere (ev 👏🏼 ery👏🏼where👏🏼), the wrinkles, the disappearing elasticity in my face and joints, the aches, the fatigue, the ever decreasing metabolism, how loud things are, how dark rooms are, eyes that strain to see text, and kids these days and back in myyyy dayyyy.

It’s easy to slip into that spiral.

And it’s never ending. You will never win or see the end of that spiral .

I just turned 42, and birthdays always serve as an opportunity to have a moment of reflection for me. Especially having spent many of them on my own (so good at being alone — working on it).

And lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about somebody who was my university best friend ☀️. I loved him (I still do). As time marched on in her unrelenting way… we naturally grew apart year after year after he moved to Toronto with his boyfriend. The frequency of messages decreased and the time in between them increased.

I recall he uploaded a social media post of him standing in the ocean, and smiling big. I thought to myself, go ahead and say hi and break the siege of silence.

I didn’t.

I think I’ll regret that forever.

He died in that same ocean.

It’s sobering to know that he will forever be 35.

And it feels cruel and tragic for a life to end so young. Time, she doesn’t give a shit though.

I turned 35, and then 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, and 42. Every birthday, I am reminded that he stopped blowing candles out at 35.

He didn’t know that though.

None of us know.

None of us are privy to what The Moirai, (better known as The Fates), are up to.

So here’s The Reframe.

We aren’t getting old, we are growing old.

Remember, it’s a privilege and gift.

And if you feel that tug to say hi to somebody you haven’t for a   l o n g   while - do it.