Entries in shaming (1)

Monday
Sep222014

Do what you want...

Do what you want and make no apologies if it makes you happy!

I just read this article and feel all out of sorts about it and frankly, pissed off.

What was the article on, Kate?

High waisted shorts.

Some people like them, some people dislike them, some people wear them and some people do not wear them. That's really where the conversation should stop... Then, we move on with our lives because we have better things to do and better things to pay attention to in the world.

But what the article brought up was "What Guys Really Think About your High-Waisted Shorts" and written in a way that just makes me feel sad and confused why there's even a conversation about it.

It is misogynistic and ass backwards for the progression of women as a whole. Pitting women against each other based on wardrobe choice and spinning it in a way where women are here for the pleasure of men.

I just have to shake my head at some of these quotes of "men" (term used loosely)..


"I’d immediately try to rip those off of my girlfriend if she was wearing them. Not in the ‘oh rip these off and do me’ way"

“Very rarely have I seen a girl in high-waisted shorts and been into it at all"

"They're boner killers"

"I thought broads wanted to wear clothing that was flattering... No guy has ever thought... what would make a girl more attractive? High waisted, vagina suffocating, belly button hiding shorts"

"I hate them more than cancer"

"I really see them as fat hiders"

"flat-assed young girls to try and appear to have a bigger butt, but it's false advertisement... She has a gorgeous face, great body, big butt... I'm seriously not interested because of her choice to wear them"

"Ladies, do yourselves (and every guy you walk past) a solid and get a second mirror"

"What happened... glory days when Christina Aguilera got dirrty rocking her tight hip-huggers low... I miss that shit"

See where I'm going??? It makes me want to throw up at the digusting and sexist comments from these "men".

Women are not obligated or meant to dress in a way that won't kill your precious boner... and really? You hate an article of clothing more than cancer? You have dismissed every single person who has ever fought the difficult battle to cancer and every single person who ever suffered the heartbreak of losing somebody to cancer.

But let's get back to the reason I'm writing this blog post. It's time we step up and stop SHAMING each other. I am especially surprised that it was a fellow woman who compiled these quotes about something that I have never given a second thought to. Already, we as woman deal with the societal pressures to be thin but not too thin, built but not too built, look good but not too done up... god, the list goes on.

And suddenly, we're judging another woman based on hair, make-up, shoes, clothing choices, sexual activity or even lack of sexual activity, sexual orientation, career choice, having children or no children, body size, etc... And for what? Really.

Shaming is a serious issue and even though you may toss this off as a laugh, understand that because of shaming we have a real issue of women keeping their silence behind RAPE, PHYSICAL ABUSE, EMOTIONAL ABUSE, MOLESTATION and DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

Indeed, those words are terrible to see and even more awkward for us to talk about. Too many women are shamed in so many ways and it's not doing us any favours in moving forward emotionally, mentally, spiritually or within our careers. Slut shaming, fat shaming, body shaming, gender shaming, sexual orientation shaming, religious shaming... too many to list.

I urge you to open your eyes and to look into the eyes of any woman you encounter. She has been through the same struggles that you have. She wakes up some days and she doesn't feel beautiful. She's working hard to figure herself out. She's learning about life, just like you.

And now for the men who think like the above... I urge you to get your head out of your ass. Women are not here to please you. We are not here for you to get aroused over, we do not owe you conversation, we certainly do not need to validate your come ons and we are entitled to say, do and wear whatever we want.

Not all men are like this and one of the top commenters is a real man who eloquantely puts the writer and the boys who shared their views into their place. It is shaming and it is wrong. Not all women will tear each other down and it is my hope that these two camps will continue to evolve and grow such that we can create a world where we can co-exist in harmony.